Why Your Attachment Style Matters
Have you ever wondered why you react a certain way in your most important relationships—do you crave connection, find yourself pushing others away, or maybe you feel secure and balanced in the relationships that mean the most to you? Your attachment style might have the answer.
First, What Are Attachment Styles?
Attachment theory, developed by psychologists John Bowlby and Mary Ainsworth, suggests that our early relationships with caregivers as well as other experiences we have in our life shape how we connect with others as adults. The four main attachment styles are:
Secure – Comfortable with intimacy and independence; able to trust and communicate openly.
Anxious – Craves closeness but often worries about rejection or abandonment.
Avoidant – Values independence and tends to withdraw when relationships feel too demanding.
Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant) – A mix of anxious and avoidant tendencies, often due to past trauma or inconsistent caregiving.
Why Does It Matter?
Understanding your attachment style can help improve communication, set healthy boundaries, and strengthen relationships. Whether you're dating, married, or working through challenging friendships or family relationships, knowing how you connect with others is a powerful tool for growth.
Take the Free Attachment Quiz
Curious about your attachment style? Take this free quiz based on Attached by Dr. Amir Levine and Rachel Heller:
Learning about attachment can be life-changing—helping you build stronger, more fulfilling relationships. If you're navigating relationship challenges or just desiring to be the best version of yourself, counseling can provide insight and strategies to develop a more secure attachment style.
